Random Thoughts
I start with blog just for the sake of writing something now that I have
a comp in my room. Long time since I've written anything intelligible
to anyone but myself. So hard luck to u if you hav a problem with that(I never write
the other kind of blog anyway).
Now what to do. I figure baby steps should suit me the first time so I
start to think of the basics required. A subject. I need a subject.
I look around. What do I write about? Hmmm... What things do I relate to?
Dreams of success... Nope too corny, loserly... Thoughts on self discovery
... Nope people already think Im psycho, why give them assurance...
My views on the war in Iraq... Ewww... passe`... Besides I personally
think that Mr. Bush is a donkey raping-shit eater (Thnk u Cartman :))
I've heard that the US is monitoring blogs to single out ones that are
out to malign the govt. So if you're getting this Mr. Bush's minions
you can stick this in you rear. Back to topics. So what about my daily
grind. Well nothing interesting ever happens in my life other than
winning games in FIFA 07.(What a great game!) If you are a game freak I
would recommend it. Superior stuff. Then what?? Megadeth?? no... jus
love a few songs... Dont even give a f who they are... What about
movies? Fight Club... Bored you ppl already with one on that... Besides
... thats a movie very few ppl realte to... Revolver? Couldnt make much
headway with that one... So what do i write about? Why dont I fuck this
and go back to playing FIFA all day... No not today... Hmm... This is
heading to something like catcher in the rye.. Except for the hating
everybody part... I cant imagine someone hating everybody...Not becos
Im a lovey dovey do gooder faggot... Its just too much work... Why sweat
yourself over some loser if you dont like him... A better policy would
be to cast him to rot in some shitty corner of your mind and get on
with your life. You only truly hate people who matter to you. Listen up ppl
. This is a moment. The gears in my head just turned a tad. Thats one thing
with me. I rarely am aware of myself as an entity. Most of the time Im so
engrossed in doing things that I rarely think. Its like im watching a movie
. I rarely hear myself think. That scares me. I end up making shitty decisions
and fucking things up. I keep imagining that Im the only person like this
among the ppl around me. Its as if that I have a minimal rational thinking
persona. A large chunk of me acts purely on instinct. Fear, Hunger,
Approval. And I find solace in movies, books etc. that have individuals
who have lost themselves and who fight their way out in the end. I think
I'd find peace of mind If I knew what the hell I'm supposed to do- other
than play computer games, study to get marks in some test, eat, sleep,
try to be funny, play basketball, crosswords etc. etc. I think what really
scares me is that If i peel of all these superficial layers off myself,
there would be nothing left. Scary... And I dont give a shit if other ppl
are happy without complicating their lives... This is just me... So thats
that... Congrats.., I have myself a blog...
a comp in my room. Long time since I've written anything intelligible
to anyone but myself. So hard luck to u if you hav a problem with that(I never write
the other kind of blog anyway).
Now what to do. I figure baby steps should suit me the first time so I
start to think of the basics required. A subject. I need a subject.
I look around. What do I write about? Hmmm... What things do I relate to?
Dreams of success... Nope too corny, loserly... Thoughts on self discovery
... Nope people already think Im psycho, why give them assurance...
My views on the war in Iraq... Ewww... passe`... Besides I personally
think that Mr. Bush is a donkey raping-shit eater (Thnk u Cartman :))
I've heard that the US is monitoring blogs to single out ones that are
out to malign the govt. So if you're getting this Mr. Bush's minions
you can stick this in you rear. Back to topics. So what about my daily
grind. Well nothing interesting ever happens in my life other than
winning games in FIFA 07.(What a great game!) If you are a game freak I
would recommend it. Superior stuff. Then what?? Megadeth?? no... jus
love a few songs... Dont even give a f who they are... What about
movies? Fight Club... Bored you ppl already with one on that... Besides
... thats a movie very few ppl realte to... Revolver? Couldnt make much
headway with that one... So what do i write about? Why dont I fuck this
and go back to playing FIFA all day... No not today... Hmm... This is
heading to something like catcher in the rye.. Except for the hating
everybody part... I cant imagine someone hating everybody...Not becos
Im a lovey dovey do gooder faggot... Its just too much work... Why sweat
yourself over some loser if you dont like him... A better policy would
be to cast him to rot in some shitty corner of your mind and get on
with your life. You only truly hate people who matter to you. Listen up ppl
. This is a moment. The gears in my head just turned a tad. Thats one thing
with me. I rarely am aware of myself as an entity. Most of the time Im so
engrossed in doing things that I rarely think. Its like im watching a movie
. I rarely hear myself think. That scares me. I end up making shitty decisions
and fucking things up. I keep imagining that Im the only person like this
among the ppl around me. Its as if that I have a minimal rational thinking
persona. A large chunk of me acts purely on instinct. Fear, Hunger,
Approval. And I find solace in movies, books etc. that have individuals
who have lost themselves and who fight their way out in the end. I think
I'd find peace of mind If I knew what the hell I'm supposed to do- other
than play computer games, study to get marks in some test, eat, sleep,
try to be funny, play basketball, crosswords etc. etc. I think what really
scares me is that If i peel of all these superficial layers off myself,
there would be nothing left. Scary... And I dont give a shit if other ppl
are happy without complicating their lives... This is just me... So thats
that... Congrats.., I have myself a blog...
